There is one thing about LOVE. It cannot be legislated against. It is the one thing in this world that has no law governing it. For what right does a government have to impose rules on who and how you love? No one can actually define love itself. God is love. No one can describe the Lord without reading the Bible. Not truly anyway. No one on earth has seen Him to really know what He is about. There are words that we can use to describe how we feel when we ‘feel’ love, words we affiliate with love, words for feelings we use to express love…it is so undefined that it is down to each individual to comprehend its meaning. Therefore no one can tell someone else what love is, and how to feel it or how to express it.
“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have”.
My belief is that love is given to you the moment you are born. The moment your mother looks at you, and holds you in her arms…she’s keeping you safe. You are the most precious being on earth, a newborn baby, relying on your mother for survival. From this moment, God gave life. God gave love. He made sure that the love between you and your mother would be there in order for you to survive. As a mother myself, I know that the love I have for my daughter knows no bounds. When I look at her all I feel is adoration.
So as I go on to talk about love…remember the above.
As you grew up you weren’t taught how to love. It was just an innate feeling, something you did without question. You loved your mother – you didn’t know why. You just did. And still to this day you love her and she loves you. If ever we want to define love, and find out its true meaning, then we would have to find out why we can love our mother’s without even being taught how to love them. I think that when people grow up and move onto new relationships, for example, having a best friend or ‘falling in love’ with a boy, they believe that this is a different type of love. That because you cant love your boyfriend the same way you love your mother, then it must be a totally different set of feelings. Which is why I believe that so many relationships do not flourish, and do not last.
When you get your first boyfriend, you are with him out of ‘want’. You saw him, you were attracted to him, and you wanted him to be yours. So you made sure that you did all the right things, wore your hair down, fluttered you eyelashes, started wearing make-up, hitched that school skirt up a little, and paid him attention so that he knew you were interested. When you got older, and had had maybe a few boyfriends by this point because none of the relationships worked out, you started to think about the kind of man you wanted to spend your life with. The one you want to marry… this man needed to fulfill your every dream. You started looking for a man, a man who was tall, who was strong, who was funny, who was understanding etc etc… Why do we do this? Why do we look for something precise in a man, something that will make US the happy one? What is it about getting married to the most amazing man that makes every girl go crazy!? The white dress, the fact everyone will be watching US as we walk down the aisle looking all radiant and at our best? Again, it is out of want and in part selfishness.
Marriage is a sacred unity between two people. It is the joining of two people who love one another. Us girls, we want want want. This is not love…the feelings of wanting to get married to that rich handsome man, it’s not love…it’s greed. When we want something, we can go to any lengths to obtain it. How awful. How awful that we allow ourselves to lose that feeling of love in order for us to gain something that will make US happy.
“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life is not of the Father but is of the world. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” 1 John 2:15-17.
So in order to understand what love is, we must realise that it is a feeling that we were given, an attachment that allowed us to survive and then without knowing how, the feeling stayed within us. So when you finally meet someone who you think you love ask yourself this…why am I loving this person? Because, loving someone should not be about you. It is about helping the world to continue…God wants you to love others like he loves you.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God”. 1 John 4:7
“The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31
“The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control, against such things there is no law”. Galatians 5:22
Love is an act of giving, without wanting something in return.
But she’s mad you say, how can she compare the love of a mother to the love of a man…No, I’m not mad. I understand that love is a feeling I have deep within me. I don’t know where it came from, but it is there. Sometimes I can choose not to feel it. I could if I wanted to choose to hate. That of course would go against everything that I believe in…and would get me nowhere in life, and would make me a very unhappy person. It is a feeling I use, the drive behind my actions every day. It is given to a person everytime I do something to help them. Everytime I offer them my listening ear. Everytime I put thier happiness before my own (because doing this actually makes me feel good). So the love I have for the man in my life, is of the same value of which I love my mother, my daughter, the rest of my family, my friends…neither of these people ‘deserve’ to be loved more than the other. For each one is shown as much love as I can possibly give to them. Just because I have an intimate relationship with a man, which I dont have with anyone else…does not mean he will be loved any different.
nonconformityangel 